Your Money: Asking a love interest about their money

June 30, 2025

	by Mike Dang and Kailyn Rhone

Welcome back from the weekend.

The two of us recently watched “Materialists,” a romantic comedy written and directed by Celine Song that came out earlier this month about a matchmaker named Lucy (Dakota Johnson) who finds herself in a love triangle with John (Chris Evans) and Harry (Pedro Pascal).

Money is a big theme in the movie: Who has it, who doesn’t and what it means to be in a relationship with a have or have-not. In a scene early on, Lucy asks Harry how much he makes. It’s their first time meeting and he’s taken aback by the question.

She explains that in matchmaking, those type of figures are important and tells him that she makes $80,000 a year. He plays along and says he makes more than that. It is clear to viewers that he comes from immense wealth, but we never learn exactly how much he earns.

When it comes to dating, discussions about money often loom large — especially when things get more serious and couples imagine spending their lives together. When to bring up how much we make (or how much we owe, for that matter), can differ depending on the person.

For Lucy, money is something that couples should discuss immediately. For some of us, it make take several dates, several months or even an engagement until we lay those figures bare. Some couples never learn the full extent of their partner’s finances, even after they’re married.

We’re working on an article about how couples decide when to disclose all of this. In your experience, when have you asked how much your partner earns? When has a love interest asked you? Email the two of us: mike.dang@nytimes.com and kailyn.rhone@nytimes.com and let us know.

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