| Dear Carolyn: My mother died two years ago after two years battling cancer. My father, 64, was able to retire very comfortably to care for her, with me sharing the burden. I also have a sister who stepped in when she could. I, 38, male, have been super fortunate in that my parents have always been some of my closest friends. After my mother died, my dad fell into a relationship with a woman 20 years his junior who has 12 children and five grandchildren. They’ve recently wed and found a house that suits them. (They currently live apart.) My struggle is: My father is doing a full reinvention. Just prior to the wedding, which I officiated, Dad called me to take my mother’s remains, since his new wife wanted my mother “dealt with” prior to the big day. He plans to get a dumpster to throw out things “like photo albums” that he doesn’t want to take. His completely discarding all parts of his life with my mother — outside of me and my sister — doesn’t sit well with me. It also feels like he’s discarding his status as my father and relying just on our friendship. Any advice on how to manage this as both his best friend and his son? I’d like to save some form of a relationship, but I’m really not sure if it’s possible. — 1/2 to 1/14 | 
