| Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are considering buying a home soon. He came from a poor background and built a successful career and life by himself. He did not accept — and, frankly, was not offered — help from anyone along the way. He is very strong-willed and hardworking, and I find his story and these traits extremely admirable. Because of this background, he has a hard time accepting help from others. He feels he needs to accomplish everything by himself and has told me he feels shame whenever he accepts help or gifts. My parents have offered to give us some money to help with our down payment. I would like to accept this gift, but my husband does not want us to. I feel accepting the money is the smartest financial decision. We would still be contributing the majority of the down payment ourselves, but their contribution would help us get our mortgage rate down and be more competitive buyers. He feels that accepting my parents’ money for a down payment will hurt his pride, and he will never feel that the house is “ours.” We are in a stalemate here, and I would be really interested to hear your take on this. — Stuck | 
