Welcome to the T List, a newsletter from the editors of T Magazine. For our holiday gift guide this year, we asked readers to send us questions about the hardest-to-please people on their list. Below, our editors answer some of the most intriguing queries we received. (We sent our first batch of responses last week.) Sign up here to find us in your inbox every Wednesday, along with monthly travel and beauty guides and the latest stories from our print issues. And you can always reach us at tmagazine@nytimes.com. Something Niceish for an Ex-Husband
“I want to find something that’s nice but not too nice for my recent ex-husband. Odds are we’ll be spending the holidays together with our adult son. He’s into photography and is an audiophile.” — Mary, New York; budget: $100 As the only child of divorced parents, I used to create all kinds of cockeyed scenarios to get my mother and father in the same room together. (The number of karaoke performances they were forced to endure, almost always featuring songs from the original 1983 Broadway cast recording of “Cats,” still haunts me.) But my reason for responding to this question is that I was drawn to its parameters: “Nice but not too nice” is such a devious prompt. It reminded me of my favorite scene in the 2000 Cameron Crowe movie, “Almost Famous,” in which the groupie Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) waves to some jogging teenage girls from a passing tour bus. When they wave back, she flips them the middle finger. With your criteria in mind, I have some ideas: It would be unhinged to buy your ex-husband Lily Allen’s new album, “West End Girl,” about the dissolution of her own marriage. But I see no reason an audiophile wouldn’t enjoy a T-shirt with the cover art, by the Spanish painter Nieves González, on it. To be clear: If I sound like I’m being flip, I’m not — Allen’s new music is among the year’s best, and I love this image of her. A colleague once told me that candles are a great gift for people you don’t like all that much. (She said this to me after I’d just excitedly unwrapped one from a friend.) I quite enjoy this tomato-scented offering from Flamingo Estate, which you can personalize with an engraving if you’re so inclined. Alternatively, two recent and very different books of photography — Annie Leibovitz’s “Women” and Charlie Knepper’s “Side Piece” — are nice additions to any coffee table or library. The former, out this month, is an extension of Leibovitz’s 1999 monograph of the same name, with a new volume of portraits taken since 2000. The latter, by the young model and artist, is a contemporary answer to Nan Goldin’s “The Ballad of Sexual Dependency” (1986) or Ryan McGinley’s “You and I” (2011), featuring images of Knepper and his often-naked gang of friends and lovers. Or maybe your ex wants to shoot the photos himself, in which case I’d suggest the Lomography Lomomatic 110 camera, which takes pictures that somehow feel both nostalgic and timeless. (At $159, this one might fall into the category of too nice.) If none of those suggestions feel quite right — I realize that the line between thoughtful and intimate is a fine one — I can’t get enough of these striped cashmere socks by Todd Snyder. They’re luxurious and cozy. But they’re also socks. — Nick Haramis To Surprise a Particular Grandmother
“My mother is particular about almost everything and buys the things she wants for herself. She has a lot of allergies, so food and fragrance gifts are out. She’s also very sensitive to texture, so clothes or anything else that touches her skin are difficult, and she prefers to pick those out herself. She’s an avid walker and hiker, but I hesitate to buy exercise gear because of the above issues. She loves spending time with her grandchildren. I’ve been alternating between flower subscriptions and potted plants for years — I want to find something new!” — May, Seattle; budget: $50-$100 If there’s one thing that will delight most any hard-to-please grandmother, it’s time with her grandchildren. So why not choose gifts that they can enjoy together? Since your mom is an avid hiker, set them up for a birding expedition with a pair of Nocs Provisions binoculars. The Standard Issue model is ultra lightweight and compact, and the no-slip grip makes them easier for little hands to hold. A set of wooden bird calls from Quelle Est Belle would add to the fun — they’re handmade by an artisan in France’s Drôme region and would be just as charming as decorative objects on a shelf. Or try a sunprint kit — the kids can place flowers, leaves or whatever they like on the kit’s photosensitive paper and, after a few minutes in the sun and a rinse, your mother will have frameable artworks to remind her of their day outdoors. The botanist Anna Atkins used the same process to make the first photography book ever published, in 1843. Her impressions of British algae and ferns are collected in Taschen’s “Anna Atkins: Cyanotypes.” The photographer and musician Linda McCartney was a fan of the technique, too. Her book “Sun Prints” was first published in 1988, and you can still find used copies — a great source of inspiration from the ultimate cool mom. — Jamie Bradley For a Minimalist Foodie Son
“Our 34-year-old son lives with his Australian Shepherd in a tiny Seattle condo. He used to be highly active (skiing, bike riding, four-wheeling) but was injured. He’s a foodie, loves to cook (gluten-free, as his girlfriend has celiac disease), plays competitive Magic The Gathering and has a keen sense of minimalist design. He’s 6-foot-5 and wears stylish XLT clothes. In the past we’ve given him kitchen items (sheet pans and cooking ingredients), but hate to give him the same type of thing every year. Most things get discarded.” — René, Newark, Del.; budget: $150-$250 My first thought is a gift for your son’s dog that’s so luxurious he might not buy it himself: Hèrmes’s natural dog shampoo, which moisturizes with organic Ginkgo biloba and aloe vera and comes in a stylish aluminum container that will double as home décor when perched on a bathroom shelf. For clothing, what about something from Copenhagen, the center of minimalist cool? The Danish brand Mfpen sells a wool scarf in an electric blue that seems bound to brighten Seattle’s dark winter days (though it also comes in a plaid if your son prefers a more understated look). You could pair it with Carhartt’s classic canvas Detroit jacket, which is available in tall sizing. And if you do decide to revisit the food category, maybe the trick is to inspire the making of gluten-free comfort foods, like tortillas. Masienda, a company that produces masa, or corn flour, sells a tortilla starter kit that comes with a press and blue and white masa. All he’ll need to add is water. If baking feels more fitting, consider “The Art of Gluten-Free Bread,” the newest book by Aran Goyoaga, who’s been developing recipes under the name Cannelle Et Vanille since 2007. It features 100 recipes including an array of holiday breads such as challah and sourdough hot cross buns, as well as a rosemary focaccia that would taste delicious with the peppery finish of La Cavalerie’s olive oil. The French brand’s olives come from a Provence grove that was first planted by the fashion designer Emanuel Ungaro; his daughter Cosima co-founded La Cavalerie in 2023, and its organic oil, packaged in an elegant canister, is newly available in the United States as of this fall. — Mackenzie Oster To Comfort a Bedbound Mother
“I want to get a special gift for my mother, who is 78 years old and very sick. I take care of her as she is mostly bedbound. She loves her grandchildren; movies and television; spending time with her family; warm and cozy things that make her feel safe; and flowers and things that make her room pretty because she spends all her time there now. I worry this may be one of the last holidays she remembers us. I want to make her feel happy and seen and loved.” — Elizabeth, Goshen, Ind.; budget: $20-$75 Illness and memory loss are such hard things to contend with. It’s touching that, despite it all, you’re still determined to make the season a special one for your mother. I think the key is to aim for doses of comfort and beauty that will elevate her everyday. One of my favorite things to do over the December holidays is to lounge about with my family, and I never regret getting into the spirit of things with some good socks. This pair has much to recommend them: Made with 60 percent alpaca, they’re extra soft; they offer a stylish pop of red; and they’re even called bed socks, which tells me that the maker just gets it. You might also consider buying your mother a bed tray, so she can confidently set a mug of tea down without compromising her perfectly snuggled up state — I like this lacquered one with scalloped edges from Mrs. Alice. Another way to enhance her space would be to hang a set of Santa Maria Novella scented wax tablets from her bedposts or stash them in the drawers of her night stand. That would give her the smell of flowers, while these toleware tulips would give her the look of them, year-round. Sometimes, on those languid days I mentioned, one of my siblings will give a living room concert on the guitar, or we’ll go for a brief walk (this is in a cold Midwestern state not far from your own). Often, though, the most ambitious thing we’ll do is watch a movie. Maybe avoid the grim fare my mother and I tend to gravitate to (think multipart adaptations of classics of British literature) and choose a crowd-pleaser like “The Shop Around the Corner” (1940). You can add to the sense of occasion by making popcorn the old-fashioned way — on the stovetop and with lots of butter. Once the credits roll and it’s time to go to sleep, your mother can channel Old Hollywood herself by donning an eye mask from Autumn Sonata’s Repose collection, inspired by 1920s chinoiserie-style silk pajama sets. — Kate Guadagnino For a Busy Dad Who Already Has All the Gear
“My dad is a lawyer who loves to cook, ski and play golf. We’ve gotten him pretty much every tool imaginable for all of those hobbies and don’t want to beat a dead horse on those themes. He’s also pretty well-dressed but already has plenty of both workwear and athleisure.” — Megan, New York; budget: $100-200 Your father sounds like a man of both taste and precision. To get ideas for a gift that might surprise such a recipient, I turned to our men’s fashion director, David Farber. He told me he swears by his Tiffany & Co. money clip, which he’s carried for nearly a decade. They make another version that’s within your budget and was originally designed by the Italian jewelry maker Elsa Peretti, who’s famous for her bean-shaped pieces and gave this clip similar organic curves, inspired by a thumbprint. For an item that nods to his interests without being full-on gear, you could try this handmade shoehorn by the Italian company Walking Sticks. With its marble powder handle shaped like a golf ball, it winks to his love of the game while being useful off the course. For something more sentimental, consider a notebook by the Florentine leather goods purveyor Pineider, monogrammed with his initials. I gifted one to both of my parents last year, then asked them weekly questions starting from their childhood — What is your earliest memory? What made you the happiest as a young child? What can you tell me about your grandparents? — so they could begin to jot down their life stories. The book becomes a personal keepsake that will look beautiful both deskside and on the shelf for years to come. And because no well-dressed dad should face the colder weather unprepared, I recommend a pair of gloves from the Swedish brand Hestra, which has been perfecting its craft for over 80 years. This nubuck leather and wool jersey pair will work equally well on chilly city mornings and après-ski evenings. If plaid isn’t his thing, they also come in a more understated shade of espresso. — Jaclyn Bloomfield FROM T’S INSTAGRAM Fashion to Wear on Your Boldest Adventures
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