MAGA Christmas was a choose-your-own-adventure affair this year. Did you want to hear Donald Trump wax eloquent, in what is definitely his own writing, about “the graces of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection” that “pour out on all who believe”? Just head over to his “Presidential Message on Christmas,” posted to the White House website. Are you the sort who found all that a little pious and drab? You might find Trump’s Truth Social message a little more your speed:

Joy to the World! Happy Friday.

The President Is a Pirate

by Will Saletan

Donald Trump calls himself the “Peace President.” But this week, as he outlined his plans to capture Greenland and hijack Venezuelan oil, his real agenda became obvious. It’s not peace. It’s extortion, conquest, and theft.

Trump spent his life pursuing wealth, not public service. As president, he reduces every question to money. He arm-twists companies into giving the government a chunk of their stock. He withholds food stamps as a bargaining chip. He calls low-income housing an offense against rich people. He muses about awarding himself $1 billion from the Treasury.

He treats international relations the same way. He slaps our allies with heavy tariffs, insisting that they “pay for the privilege of access to our market.” He bails out Argentina, meddles in its election, and then brags that his candidate’s victory “made a lot of money for the United States.” He bars immigrants from “third world countries” and sells visas to multimillionaires instead.

He also exploits war. Two months ago, in a speech to American troops in Japan, he fondly recalled the days when “they used to say, ‘To the victor belong the spoils.’” In more recent wars, he complained, “We’d win, and then we’d leave.” He made it clear that he would restore the doctrine of spoils. “Unlike past administrations, we will not be politically correct,” he told the troops.

In some parts of the world, Trump has cashed in on the use of force by other countries. In February, after Israel had leveled much of Gaza, he announced a plan to seize the territory, “own it,” and develop it into “the Riviera of the Middle East.” A reporter asked the president whether he truly meant permanent occupation. “I do see a long-term ownership position,” Trump replied.

In Ukraine, Trump has taken a