| Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are hitting two points of tension about shopping for stuff for our first baby, who is due in April. For context, he already has two older children from his first marriage. I really want to have one more child after this one, and he has always given me sort of a mild “yes” on that but with caveats about timing and financial concerns. The first point of tension is that he wants to request all the baby items he and his ex-wife used for their first two children, which are still at her house. I am not comfortable with this. She would say yes if we asked, but she doesn’t like me very much, and I think it’s a little bit callous of him to ask. He says the items will eventually just get donated otherwise, and this would save money. I also have a vague desire for our baby to have some of his own, brand-new things. The second point of tension stems from that. Strollers are very expensive (three to four figures). I would like to invest now in a double, since I hope we will have our second child within the next two years after this one. The stroller at my husband’s ex’s house is a single. I think this investment makes sense considering my husband’s financial concerns, but I think he believes I am trying to lock him into having a second baby. The same is true about a crib and some other things — I think it makes sense to spend money on higher quality in hopes we can use it twice, while he seems to want to go the cheapest and/or hand-me-down route for everything. The baby is coming either way, and I don’t plan to blow up my marriage over this, but any advice for how to navigate? — Tense | 
