Hey dupa

Let me ask you something:

Have you ever complimented someone just because you thought it would get them to treat you better?

Or maybe you said "thank you" automatically, even though you weren’t really feeling it?

It’s a slippery slope, and here’s why.

I recently made a video on the three levels of compliments.

But more than teaching the mechanics of giving a great compliment, I made it because I noticed something that’s been bugging me.

A lot of us use compliments as a social tool.

We think if we say something nice, people will be more likely to treat us kindly in return.

And sure, that works… sometimes.

But here’s the problem:

When we do this too often, we become disconnected from our own gratitude.

Compliments stop being an honest expression of how we feel and turn into a way to get something from someone else.

Think back to when you were a kid.

You were probably taught to say "please" and "thank you" as a habit, not as a genuine reflection of gratitude.

You get a sweater from your grandma, and even though you wanted a toy, you say "thank you" to recognize her effort.

While that’s polite, the habit of saying things without truly feeling them can make us numb to the joy of actually experiencing gratitude.

Here’s the shift:

Stop just saying kind words… and start feeling them.

Take a moment to stop and really feel gratitude.

Not because it’s expected or because it might change someone else’s behavior.

Just because you truly appreciate something or someone.

Can you simply feel it, without needing to express it?

Can you absorb the feeling of what’s around you that feels like a gift?

The more you practice this, the more genuine and powerful your compliments will be when you do share them.

Think about that next time you say "thank you."

Are you feeling it? Or just saying it?

Talk soon,
Charlie