A few months ago, while sitting at a too-loud bar with one of my oldest friends, I got some truly shocking news: She had changed her mind about having children. “We’ve decided to start trying in two or three years,” she said almost sheepishly about her and her partner’s plans. I gaped at her for a few seconds before enveloping her in a bear hug and welling up at the image of a young girl with my friend’s expressive round eyes that popped up in my brain. I knew instantly that I’d love any future child of hers as fiercely as I’ve loved her since I was 12. I was immediately sure, without a shadow of doubt, that my brilliant, beautiful friend will be a great mom. When we untangled from each other, she answered my litany of questions: When did this happen? What changed? How did you know for sure? I felt incandescently happy for her but, as I laid awake in bed later that night, all I could hear was a traitorous little voice in my head: Why can’t you make up your mind?
