Even if the workday is over, the chores are done and the kids are asleep, it can be hard to turn your brain off. You might be in bed thinking: Buy more eggs, sign up for summer camp, pay that bill.   

Those seemingly never-ending tasks you’re constantly keeping track of have a name: the mental load. And women carry the heaviest domestic burden, says sociologist Leah Ruppanner, who has spent decades studying gender, work and family. 

Some of that is due to pervasive cultural myths, says Ruppanner, who unpacks these in her new book that came out this week, Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More.

Assumptions that women are better at housework than men, or simply better at doing two things at once “position [women] to take on the work," Ruppanner says. " Then we set each other up to reinforce these gender roles."

Ruppanner talks to Life Kit reporter Andee Tagle about the myths she wishes would go away — and explains what works to lessen the mental load, no matter who you are.

She also shares a mental load assessment tool, which she developed based on her own research, to help you understand what’s taking up most of your energy.

More Life Kit on leveling the playing field

Stuck doing all the household chores? This practical guide can help. In four steps, experts Eve Rodsky and Jacqueline Misla explain how to fairly split domestic work with a partner or roommate. Don't forget to print out the handy zine! 

Do less, ask for more: How to make life easier as a working parent. Going back to work after having a baby can be overwhelming. You're juggling all the emotions of being a new parent while getting up to speed at your job. Tips to help you make a smooth transition.

VIDEO: How to handle medical gaslighting. What do you do when your doctor dismisses your symptoms? @NPRLifeKit host Marielle Segarra asks Dr. Jennifer Mieres, a professor of cardiology. ⁠ 

Raising kids is hard work. The way we think about it can shift how we value mothering. Raising kids is among the most essential work humans do, and yet it's rarely valued as skilled labor. Angela Garbes, author of Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change, guides us through a shift in mindset to help give mothering the value it deserves.