Fare Thee Well? Stocks did a whole lot of moving on Wednesday to end up exactly where they started after Jerome Powell wrapped up his final press conference as chair of the Federal Reserve.

The S&P 500 fell less than 0.1%. The Nasdaq Composite rose less than 0.1%. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 280 points, or 0.6%.

Wall Street was mostly looking ahead to Magnificent Seven earnings after the close. More on that below.

But stocks did initially fall after the Federal Open Market Committee’s statement included some surprising dissents.

Though Fed governor Stephen Miran surprised no one by dissenting to the decision to keep interest rates steady, three Fed presidents dissented to certain language in the FOMC’s statement. Here’s the line at issue:

My colleague Megan Leonhardt writes that the line “additional adjustments” implies the next move is more likely to be a cut, which Fed Presidents Beth Hammack, Neel Kashkari, and Lorie Logan took issue with. The FOMC statement said they “did not support inclusion of an easing bias in the statement at this time.”

Bond yields were higher and odds of a rate hike in 2026 jumped to 13.5% from zero prior to the meeting, according to the CME FedWatch Tool.

Powell, for his part, said, “Nobody’s calling for a hike right now.”

The big news came during Powell’s presser when the central banker said he would remain on the Fed as a governor “for a period of time to be determined.” Powell cited investigations from the Trump administration that “left me no choice” but to stay on the Fed’s board. He promised to keep a low profile under his apparent successor Kevin Warsh.

Though Powell took pains to discuss the central bank’s independence and other big-picture topics, the end to his Fed term seemed fairly anticlimactic. The last question was about petroleum prices, which Powell mostly brushed off.

“Anyway, thank you very much, everyone,” Powell concluded. “I won’t see you next time.”

The Hot Stock: NXP Semiconductors +25.6%
The Biggest Loser: Teradyne -19.4%

Best Sector: Energy +2.4%
Worst Sector: Utilities -1.2%

A tsunami of Mag 7 results hit the wires tonight, yet the thing I can’t stop thinking about is Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella’s use of the term “eval-max.”

From Microsoft’s press release:

What does “eval-max” mean, and why is Microsoft’s CEO putting it first in the company’s quarterly earnings statement, even ahead of blowout AI revenue numbers? A Microsoft spokesperson told my colleague Angela Palumbo that it means “driving the best outcomes and results for customers with AI.”

It, apparently, has nothing to do with “looks-maxxing” and other related Gen-Z slang that’s dominated the pages of major news publications in recent months. Microsoft said it comes from “tokenmaxxing.”

That clears it up.

Angela reports that Microsoft reported adjusted earnings of $4.27 a share and revenue of $82.9 billion. Both topped the consensus among analysts polled by FactSet. But the stock was trading sideways in late trading.

Maybe execs should try “dividend-maxxing.”

Alphabet was the big winner in late trading. The stock jumped more than 6% after the company crushed expectations and raised its quarterly dividend by 5%. Read my colleague Adam Levine’s coverage here.

Amazon.com stock initially fell but rallied after the firm offered positive commentary on demand for its AI chips, Angela reports.

The big loser was Meta Platforms, down 7% at last check. The company’s capex forecast now has a midpoint of $135 billion, compared with a prior midpoint of $125 billion, Adam reports.

That kind of spending isn’t gonna drive the best outcome for investors—at least tonight.

Air Products & Chemicals, Alliant Energy, Altria Group, American International Group, Ametek, Amgen, A.O. Smith, Apple, Arthur J. Gallagher, Baxter International, Bristol Myers Squibb, Broadridge Financial Solutions, Builders FirstSource, Camden Property Trust, Cardinal Health, Carrier Global, Caterpillar, Cigna Group, Clorox, ConocoPhillips, CRH, DexCom, DTE Energy, Eli Lilly, First Solar, Fortive, GoDaddy, Hershey, Hubbell, Illinois Tool Works, Intercontinental Exchange, International Paper, Iron Mountain, Kimco Realty, L3Harris Technologies, Labcorp Holdings, Martin Marietta Materials, Mastercard, Merck, Molson Coors Beverage, Monolithic Power Systems, Parker Hannifin, Quanta Services, Reddit, ResMed, Roblox, Royal Caribbean Group, Sandisk, Southern Co., Stryker, Textron, Trane Technologies, T. Rowe Price Group, Valero Energy, Western Digital, Weyerhaeuser, and Xcel Energy report quarterly results tomorrow.

The Bureau of Economic Analysis releases the personal consumption expenditures price index for March. Economists forecast a 3.5% year-over-year increase, seven-tenths of a percentage point more than in February. The core PCE, which excludes volatile food and energy prices, is expected to rise 3.2%, compared with 3% previously.

The BEA releases its advance estimate of gross domestic product growth for the first quarter. The consensus estimate is for a 2.1% seasonally adjusted annual growth rate, which would match last year’s pace.

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