Americans are about to spend $13.5 billion on Halloween this year.
Billion.
With a B.
That's from the National Retail Federation, which surveyed almost 8,000 people about their spooky little shopping plans. The average person expects to spend about $115.
And as a country, we're planning to drop $920 million just on pet costumes.
WTF?
Your dog does not know it's a taco, and it would eat the costume if you left it on the floor.
I get it, $115 isn't going to ruin anybody.
That's not why I'm writing this.
I'm writing this because Halloween is the warmup act.
The gateway drug.
Look at the calendar. Halloween. Then Thanksgiving. Then Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Christmas, and New Year's Eve, stacked on top of each other like a financial Jenga tower of potential debt.
I can hear the excuses already.
"It's just one night."
"It's for the kids."
"It's tradition."
By December, you're a professional excuse maker, shelling out your hard-earned cash in an attempt to fill the giant hole left behind by a parent who didn't hug you enough.
sry
And this is usually the month the credit card comes out, even if you've been disciplined the whole year.
"Just for the decorations."
Then it comes out for extra Thanksgiving groceries.
Then for gifts.
Then for the ugly sweater party.
And by January you've got a balance you can't pay off, your utilization is through the roof, and your credit score looks like it just got jump-scared.
So let's set some ground rules before the fog machine kicks on.
1.Spirit Halloween is a trap.
It's a pop-up store that exists for six weeks and is built entirely around impulse buying.
You walked in for face paint, but you walked out with a 7-foot animatronic clown that screams when the neighbor's cat walks by.
Make a list before you go in. Leave when the list is done.
2. Buy candy for the doorbell traffic you actually get.
If six kids knocked on your apartment door last year, you don't need the 300-piece Costco bag.
Also, candy's gotten stupid expensive.
Bankrate economists figure a candy budget this year buys roughly 40% less candy by weight than it did in 2020. So don't go king size! Keep it small.
Buy for the kids you'll see, not the ghosts of Halloween past.
3. Shop your closet first.
You own clothes. Probably lots of them.
Flannel, jeans, and a hat makes you a lumberjack.
A white t-shirt and a Sharpie makes you a pun.
Nobody at the party is grading your costume on budget. They're drunk. So don't go all out for people who can't see straight.
4. Pay for Halloween with money you already have.
Cash or debit.
If it doesn't fit in the budget today, it doesn't fit. Please don't put a holiday that lasts one night on a card you'll be paying off until Easter.
5. Set your holiday number right now.
One number for everything from today through New Year's. Costumes, candy, turkey, gifts, parties, all of it.
Write it down.
Every purchase comes out of that number. When it's gone, it's gone.
Now, let's say you already know your credit took a beating last holiday season.
Maybe you're still paying it off. Maybe you never had much credit to begin with. Either way, now is a good time to start fixing it, before the season does more damage.
MoneyLion can help.
Their credit building marketplace can help match you with the right service to repair your credit. Checking your options is free, so there's no harm in taking a few seconds to do it.
Here's the part that matters: your loan payments get reported to all three credit bureaus. So every on-time payment is building a track record.
Applying uses a soft credit pull, which doesn't affect your score. You don't need good credit to apply, and you don't even need any credit history.
And the obvious caveat: credit score improvement isn't guaranteed.
This works if you make the payments. If you sign up and then miss them, you just built a different kind of track record.
Think of it like a gym membership for your credit. Only showing up makes you stronger.
Which means it's not one night. It's a whole weekend.
Friday party, Saturday party, a costume for each, bar tabs, Ubers, and a 1 a.m. drive-thru run you'll have zero memory of.
Plan for the weekend, not the night.
I'm not telling you to sit in a dark house with the porch light off pretending you're not home.
(Although, honestly, legendary move.)
Dress up. Hand out candy. Go to the party.
Just don't let October write checks that December has to cash.
Because the people who end up crying in January are rarely the people who had one expensive night. It's the people who said "eh, it's only $40" eleven times in a row.
Happy haunting.
Taquitos,
Caleb "Fun-Size Budget" Hammer
P.S. Do you and your partner fight about money? Like, really fight?
Good. I want to meet you.
We're casting couples for Financial Audit right now, and if your relationship has a recurring argument about who spent what on what, you might be exactly who we're looking for.
We'll even cover your travel.
Apply together and let's fix your shit in front a few million people.
