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→ Trump dumps Ukraine: Trump and his team this week have made very clear the new American foreign policy, which is that Europe is on its own and Ukraine needs to make a deal with Russia because we’re done with this mess. In his remarks, Trump said: “I think I have the power to end this war. And I think it’s going very well. But today I heard, ‘Oh well, we weren’t invited.’ Well, you’ve been there for three years. You should have ended it three years—you should’ve never started it. You could’ve made a deal.” Everyone’s been riled up about the started it phrasing—which, fair, Ukraine was technically invaded if we’re going to be scientists here. You already know that Zelensky is having The Art of the Deal translated into Ukrainian (or, in a few weeks, Russian) to discern Trump’s next move.

Later Trump continued on Truth Social, which is where we all now must turn for geopolitical updates:

Think of it, a modestly successful comedian, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, talked the United States of America into spending $350 Billion Dollars, to go into a War that couldn’t be won, that never had to start, but a War that he, without the U.S. and “TRUMP,” will never be able to settle. The United States has spent $200 Billion Dollars more than Europe, and Europe’s money is guaranteed, while the United States will get nothing back. Why didn’t Sleepy Joe Biden demand Equalization, in that this War is far more important to Europe than it is to us—We have a big, beautiful Ocean as separation. On top of this, Zelenskyy admits that half of the money we sent him is “MISSING.”

To add insult to injury, Trump is asking for Ukraine to hold an election before any kind of peace is reached, a low blow to Zelensky because apparently he won’t win it? I’ve never heard of another Ukrainian leader, so I had no idea they had others. And there’s more: Trump is now asking for a 50 percent share in the revenue from Ukraine’s minerals, oil and gas, ports, and other infrastructure (pierogies?), as payback for all our spending. Only fair, right? We did it to England during World War II, a little. Honestly, the idea of giving so much cash and getting nothing in return but the satisfaction of having saved the free world and rescued Europe again. . . well, I want some ports. I want a barrel of oil, maybe two.

→ Sanna Marin! Finland’s former prime minister Sanna Marin, the hottest of European leaders, said this week that the Americans are right: “It is entirely reasonable for American taxpayers to question why they should shoulder more of the cost of European security than Europe itself. Given the clear message from Washington, it is simply unrealistic not to strengthen Europe’s own defense capabilities.”

Now, I don’t like Russia (never have, mainly because it’s not California), so I don’t like the idea of them winning anything. But it’s not crazy to look at Ukraine, at a war we’ve been funding for a while now, a war that all the smart people said would end quickly, a war that has dragged on for years as young men slaughter each other over honestly some pretty miserable land—it may be the “breadbasket of Europe,” but there are no good coffee shops, I doubt there’s a Pilates studio, no Rick Caruso’s The Grove—and to say maybe we should try a different strategy. Like, I know Zelensky was in Vogue and always wears his green sweatshirt, which is attractive in its own warrior chic way, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s some military genius. It’s not crazy to look at Europe—a place full of smart, lazy people who take three months of vacation every year and come back only to regulate our companies and call us capitalist trash before going on another vacation—and suggest Europeans could contribute to their own defense a little. I know it’s crude to broach such topics, so forgive me, I only know how to speak in my native tongue and say that perhaps Europe could put some cashola, some dolla dolla dolla bills, dolla dolla bill, y’all toward their own military? Gun go bang bang, François? A little of the vacation house budget has to go to tanks now, Gerfried...