| Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: In the past five years, my two adult children moved to the opposite coast. I was pretty upset, but even though I miss them and can’t afford frequent flights, I knew they needed to live their lives on their terms. My daughter lives near her husband’s family, and they helped her plan her wedding, buy her gown, do all the things I would have done, and that was the worst for me. I was able to be out there for the wedding, and that was it. She doesn’t come here for Christmas or most holidays. I have had to get used to something I hate. A year ago, I met a nice man. We are traveling soon, which will use most of my vacation time for the year. My daughter is expecting a baby this fall and wants me to come spend a few weeks with her. I don’t have the vacation time to do this, and she wants me to cancel my trip. I don’t want to. I have told my daughter I can come when the baby is older, but she is very upset I don’t want to see my first grandchild. That is not it. A baby isn’t going to remember me, and it won’t matter when I come. My daughter is angry that I am putting “a man” before family. I told her she did the same thing when she moved and I got used to it. Now I am dealing with a daughter who alternates between sobbing and yelling when she calls. Am I in the wrong here? — Got a Life | 
