How to not become your parents
Plus: 24 books to get lost in this summer

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Isabel Fattal

Senior editor

Many of us spend our teenage years working tirelessly to avoid becoming our parents. But sooner or later, we discover that we didn’t stray quite as far as we thought. A few years ago, my colleague Faith Hill spoke with 17 parents who had the same disconcerting experience: They all noticed themselves doing something, big or small, that mimicked what their own parents used to do. “Some were genuinely happy to take after them,” Faith writes. “But most felt at least a little uneasy at the realization: Even people who had relatively happy childhoods, after all, can recall some parental shortcomings. Of course they don’t want to replicate them.”

The legacy of one’s parents can feel like a prophecy, Faith notes. But we’re not all doomed to repeat our parents’ mistakes, or destined to inherit their successes. Today’s reading list is a guide to taking useful lessons without losing your own way.

On Becoming Your Parents

(Illustration by Jan Buchczik)

You may be fine with becoming more like your parents or hate the idea. Either way, it’s something you can control.

(Illustration by Katie Martin. Source: Getty)

The way someone was raised often shows up in the way they raise their own kids—for better or worse.

The nearly 375-year-old religion’s principles line up surprisingly well with modern parenting research.

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