| Adapted from online discussions, here and here. Dear Carolyn: My son, “Jason,” and his fiancée, “Maria,” are having an engagement party tomorrow. I agreed to make the desserts, and they asked me to include a small, tiered cake. This week, Maria’s mom asked for measurements to make a little flower topper for it. I laughed and said it’s going to look like an actual wedding cake. She confessed that the kids are planning a “pop-up” wedding at this party. She begged me not to tell Jason and Maria that she told me. I promised, but this puts me in a bind regarding my ex-husband. He and his girlfriend tend to be last-minute no-shows for events due to his girlfriend’s social anxiety. Jason was annoyed that they skipped Christmas Eve dinner and Easter brunch — both planned to be low-key to accommodate the girlfriend. If my ex knew this was their wedding, I’m sure he’d show even without his girlfriend. I can’t tell him since I think he’d call Jason up and read him the riot act about the secrecy. He and I don’t have a good relationship — he’s still resentful about the divorce — so I’m afraid asking him to keep the secret wouldn’t work either. I did text him to remind him the kids are counting on him to show up tomorrow but got a snarky reply about how silly engagement parties are, so I might have made things worse. What’s my next move? — Worried Answer this week’s reader question Here's your chance to channel your inner Carolyn Hax and respond to a reader question. | 
