Question: My boss has become my friend. She is a great person and I enjoy her company socially, but I find that she sometimes takes advantage of our friendship. She assumes I will take on more and more tasks and asks for work-related “favours” frequently. Because we are friends, I don’t feel comfortable saying no. Now I fear that if I take it up with her, she will be hurt and it will be even worse for me at work. Help!

We asked Sarah Stockdale, founder and CEO of Growclass, to tackle this one:

When you spend a lot of time with the people that you work with, it makes sense that you may develop relationships that feel more like friendships. But this is still a workplace relationship. It’s your boss’s job to maintain a professional distance and to take in your feedback, as long as it’s delivered in a way that is kind and professional.

I would suggest you try to empathize with this person for a moment. It’s possible that they have a lot of pressures coming down from leadership and a lack of resources. Maybe that is why they are hoping that you will take on extra work. They probably don’t even know that they’re doing it. So, when this person is saying to you, ‘Hey, can you take on this extra project?’, ask them to help you prioritize your time.

Say, ‘This is everything that is on my plate right now. I don’t know how I’m going to get this all done within my working hours. Can you help me prioritize what’s most important? I need help prioritizing because I’m at my capacity and I want to make sure that I get the right things done so that the team can be successful.’

It’s a way to say without saying that you’re not going to work on the weekends and in all your spare time, while still keeping that professional distance. You can kind of name the potential dynamic that’s going on without making it personal or making it about the relationship.

I like to approach these conversations assuming good intentions on all sides. If after the initial conversation the dynamic continues and exacerbates, then you can escalate that conversation in a way that makes sense.

I would also add that when it comes to friendships with your boss, there is obviously a power imbalance there, so make sure that you are keeping that relationship appropriate. For me, at least, I am very conservative about alcohol and professional relationships. I would also say that especially at tech startups, there can be an intensity to the work life there. So make sure you are maintaining your friendships outside of work, because otherwise it can become all-consuming and feel like it’s your entire life. There should be some boundaries between your work life and your personal life.

In praise of doing things at the last minute

David Allen is the master of personal organization. Millions of people follow his Getting Things Done system. So it’s a surprise that he recently offered a paean to doing some things at the last moment.

“A client once told me he likes waiting until the last minute. It makes his work better. It’s more focused, more creative and more inspired, all thanks to the pressure of the ticking clock. I have to admit that I think he’s right and there are times that this is true for me as well,” he writes in his newsletter.

More layoffs are likely coming. Can I offer my team job hunting and resume advice?

“I appreciate that you care about your team and want to support them during this time of uncertainty,” says Julie Labrie, president, BlueSky Personnel Solutions. “However, unless your upper management has explicitly told employees to explore external job opportunities, actively helping your team look for work by offering job search and resume advice could be considered a breach of your own employment agreement.

“It’s up to your company’s leadership to decide when and how they want to communicate what is happening within the organization. As a manager, your role is to align with and represent that messaging.”

I am a newcomer to Canada. How can I network and build my career here?

“Oftentimes, newcomer women will gravitate towards groups and people who look like them and who speak their their home language,” says Sara Asalya, executive director at Newcomer Women’s Services Toronto.

“That is very much needed because it’s your support system as a newcomer, but you also have get outside of that comfort zone and start connecting with other communities.

“You have to start learning new languages. I’m not saying learn English and French and Urdu and Arabic – every sector, every industry, every workplace has their own language. Once you know what kind of sector or career paths you want in Canada, learning that language becomes part of how you market yourself in different spaces.”