Don’t like joining in? Why it could be your superpower

Your personality type is a lot like your dreams: interesting to you, but not really to anyone else.

But labels are not without value. They can make our behavior easier for others – and ourselves – to understand. This week, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski writes about a personality type he dubs the “otrovert”: a perpetual outsider who doesn’t like to join in.

This is not the same as introversion. While introverts tend to be quiet and reserved, otroverts can be gregarious and outgoing. And though introverts tend to feel energetically drained after social interactions, otroverts can be energized by the right kind of interaction.

“These are people who always prefer to have dinner with a friend one-on-one rather than attend a dinner party,” Kaminski says. At a party, they are more likely to have an intense conversation with one person rather than work the room, and they tend to prefer working on their own to working in groups.

In a society that places so much importance on group participation, otroverts can cause “confusion and concern” to others. But there’s no reason to worry, Kaminski says: “for otroverts, there is great freedom and fulfillment in sitting on the sidelines.”

I give it three months before people start describing themselves as otroverts on dating apps.

Read the full story here.

In movies and TV shows, people are always dropping to the floor and doing push-ups to prove how fit they are. But according to experts, a push-up is not just a gimmick: it’s an underrated exercise that says a lot about one’s overall fitness. Doing a push-up requires full body stabilization, and as a result, it works the upper body as well as the core and glutes. In order to do one correctly, keep the following in mind:

• Don’t drop your hips: “Think of the push-up as a moving plank,” trainer Mark Bohannon says. Brace your core so your body maintains one unbroken line from head to heels.
• Go slowly: instead of rushing through reps, aim for slow and controlled movement. This increases time under tension, which improves strength, and reduces the risk of injury.
• Regress if you need to: if a regular push-up feels too challenging, practice on your knees or against a wall.

Read the full story here.

As a loneliness epidemic rages across the globe, people are increasingly searching for ways to build community. (Unless you’re an otrovert, I guess.) But as Tom Gill writes this week, that’s no small task. Gill attends running clubs, improv comedy classes and free community events, and discovers that finding community doesn’t happen passively: it requires time, effort, research and a tolerance for some discomfort and awkwardness. But it’s worth it. “I am both energised and exhausted, but I definitely feel better for it,” he writes.

Read the full story here.

A 64-year-old man tells Pamela Stephenson Connolly that despite having had over 30 sexual partners in the 15 years since his divorce, he hasn’t achieved orgasm by any means other than masturbation for years. “There is way more to sex than a race to orgasm,” Stephenson Connolly says. She suggests focusing on pleasure rather than on achieving a climax. “An enormous amount of prolonged pleasure awaits you and your partner if you can approach sexual encounters in this way,” she writes.

Read the full story here.