Hey dupa

For years, I had this one motto that shaped almost everything I did:

“If you’re afraid of something and it’s not physically dangerous… you have to do it.”

That was the ethos behind a lot of growth in Charisma on Command.

Nervous to approach someone you’re attracted to? Do it.

Anxious to ask for a raise? Do it.

Scared of rejection, conflict, or looking silly? Do it anyway.

And for a long time, this worked.

It made me more confident.

And it helped millions of people who watched Charisma on Command videos push past their social fears and grow in ways they never thought possible.

So I don’t regret it. I still think it’s a good advice.

But here’s what I see now…

Running toward fear is still RUNNING from fear.

Most people run from fear by avoiding the thing that makes them anxious.

I did the opposite - I charged straight into the fear to make it go away as fast as possible.

Different strategies… but the same goal:

Escape the feeling.

And when your life is organized around escaping fear - even by “just doing it” - you never really learn to sit with the emotion itself.

So here’s the advice I’d give today:

When you feel fear, don’t rush to escape it.

Don’t try to make it disappear.

Let it sit in your body.

Notice it.

Breathe into it.

Sometimes it passes in a few seconds, sometimes it takes longer… and that’s fine.

Then ask: what would be most loving - leaning in and doing this thing, or giving myself the opportunity to step back?

This way you’re not living in reaction to fear.

You’re learning from it, instead of running from it.

And when you approach it this way, fear actually becomes a doorway to more confidence - not just something to “get past.”

Hope it helps :-)

Talk soon,
Charlie

P.S. I’d love to hear from you on this.

Do you relate more to the “just do it” stage, or have you tried sitting with fear before taking action?

If this resonates, hit reply and share your experience - I’d be curious to know.