| Starting this week, Carolyn Hax publishes on a new schedule: columns on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, with Nick Galifianakis illustrations rather than cartoons. Reader advice stays on Wednesday and the live chat on Friday. Adapted from an online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My fiancé and I are on the minimalist side. We hate clutter, junk, consumerism. We try to live responsibly and sustainably by purchasing local, good-quality items, using our stuff until it’s worn out, fixing stuff where we can before buying new. My dad, on the other hand, loves buying stuff, especially anything he sees as a bargain. I’ve had this problem for years where my dad buys me stuff I don’t need, want or like, and I resent it. I’ve told him so many times to stop, that gifting me material items like he does gives me anxiety. When I need something, I want to choose with intention, one good-quality item that aligns with my lifestyle and aesthetic. My fiancé and I did a major renovation of our small house. We did it all ourselves and are so happy with the results. When my parents visited, they saw that we were missing a lot of essentials. We explained that we are making do, we want to slowly and thoughtfully choose the right things. While we were at work, they took it upon themselves to buy us a ton of cheap junk, nothing we’d ever want or choose. Their excuse? It was all on sale. My anxiety went through the roof when I saw all that junk cluttering up our home. When I explained this, my parents were offended and marched out, saying we can return it, but that leaves me with the responsibility when I have a million other things to deal with. Is it reasonable to take all this over to my parents’ house and insist that returning it is their job? Maybe that will stop them from doing it again? — Stop Buying Us Junk Answer this week’s reader question Here's your chance to channel your inner Carolyn Hax and respond to a reader question. |
