| Dear Carolyn: My daughter-in-law is very insecure, so she has created her idea of a “perfect” family to cover those insecurities. She and her petite family are always dressed perfectly and project the “perfect family” image to the world. My daughter-in-law doesn’t feel our family — my two daughters and I — live up to her standards. We are all successful and well put-together, but we are tall and larger-built. My son is 6-foot-5 and she seems to like that, but apparently women are supposed to be small and helpless. We three are strong, independent women, and my son is proud of us. When my daughters and I attend the grandkids’ activities, it is very obvious that we “embarrass” her. And I fear she has instilled those same ideas in two of my grandkids. I feel really uncomfortable being there. I don’t know what to do. It breaks my heart, but short of losing 50 pounds and magically becoming shorter, I know she will never accept me. Should I stay away from public activities with them? Should I tell my son how I feel? He will be devastated but never say anything to his wife. He is extremely introverted and worships her. — Too-Big Grandma | 
