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Economist Corinne Low was in an Amtrak bathroom when she hit a breaking point. She was breast pumping on a stalled train from Philadelphia to New York – her commute – and crying because she wouldn’t be home in time to put her baby to bed. And even though her husband worked from home and she was the sole breadwinner, she was doing most of the housework and childcare.
For Low, getting a divorce was the right call. But based on her research on the economics of gender, she says there are ways to rebalance childrearing and domestic labor without breaking up.
For instance, she suggests that couples try tracking the number of hours they each spend on childcare and domestic tasks. She says duties don’t necessarily need to be split 50/50, but partners should ask each other “Do we both feel supported, seen, and balanced in the whole of our responsibilities?” If the answer is no, it could be time to set a boundary.
Making a change in a relationship is hard – whether it’s with a partner, a friend, or a relative. When your choices are to initiate a difficult conversation or to walk away, the most appealing choice can be not to choose and let things fester. KC Davis, therapist and author of Who Deserves Your Love: How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen or End Any Relationship, talked to NPR’s Life Kit about what to do when something is bothering you about someone you love.
Davis says to start by looking within, and asking why this person’s behavior is bothering you. Is it causing you hurt or harm, or is it just something you don’t like? If the behavior is harming you, the next step is to have a conversation. Maybe your brother’s teasing remarks are actually hurting your feelings, or your girlfriend’s mess is making it hard to navigate the apartment. Is the other person willing to change, or can you come to a compromise?
If problems persist, Davis says to ask yourself if the relationship aligns with your values. For most people, their most important values are your physical safety, psychological safety and the physical and psychological safety of minor children, Davis says.
"If I cannot meet those responsibilities, then it's against my values to continue in this relationship,” she told Life Kit. You might have other values that come into play like trust, honesty, or maintaining your sobriety.
Davis emphasizes that there are many ways to set a boundary while maintaining the relationship. If holiday trips with your parents tend to lead to tensions, maybe instead choose a quieter time to visit. The idea here is to not try to get the other person to change, “but learn how to take care of yourself on the backend," says Davis.
Find more advice on navigating difficulties in relationships here.
Plus: How to set boundaries with family — and stick to them |
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Quick question: Do you have a list of old books that you’ve always been meaning to get around to? You know — the sort of book that a friend recommended a hundred years ago, or maybe one that a teacher assigned (and you ignored), or a classic that everyone’s - allegedly - already read? Yep, us too.
Thankfully, we’ve just launched Books We’ve Loved, a brand-new, limited series from our Book of the Day podcast, with new episodes dropping on Saturdays throughout the fall. This is where we’ll be wrangling some of the most compelling lit nerds out there to make the case for picking up a book from the past.
We’re inviting a cast of literary luminaries – authors, critics, and familiar NPR voices – to argue why their book pick is worth your time. We’re asking our guests questions like — why can’t they get this book out of their head? How did this book shift a paradigm, shake the culture, or change their life? And, most importantly, why should you read it now? |
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Weight-loss drugs like Ozempic mimic a hormone that our bodies make naturally to curb food cravings. What if we could increase levels of this hormone (called GLP-1) through our diet?
It turns out that you can increase satiety hormones by eating fiber-rich foods, as Michaeleen Ducleff reports. Research shows that some types of fiber are better for regulating hunger than others.
Fiber is not broken down inside the stomach nor the small intestine. When certain fibers reach the colon — hours after eating — they are broken down by bacteria there into smaller molecules. These smaller molecules can trigger the release of GLP-1 and increase your feeling of fullness or satiety between meals. To get this extra boost of satiation hormones, you need to eat fermentable fibers, which are found in foods like oats, rye, whole wheat and many legumes.
There’s a host of other reasons to eat more fiber — it helps control blood sugar levels and lower cholesterol and inflammation. And it’s linked to a lower risk of issues like obesity, Type 2 diabetes, cancer and cardiovascular disease.
Here’s more on how fiber can help keep you sated, and which foods to pick.
Also: 8 easy ways to add more fiber to your diet |
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White House strikes deals for lower prices on obesity drugs
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The shutdown leaves telehealth for Medicare patients in limbo
AI steps in to detect the world's deadliest infectious disease |
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Thanks for reading. Find more of NPR's health journalism online.
All our best,
Andrea Muraskin and your NPR Health editors |
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