ScienceVenting Makes You Hotter (in the Bad Way)What's going on: At theSkimm, we’re both pro-science and pro-calling-your-bestie-to-rant. So we’re not sure we can get fully on board with this study. It found… insidious drumroll please… that venting doesn’t work. At least not in the scenarios when we’re most likely to do it. The research suggests that if something bad or annoying happens, the sacred ritual of immediately phoning a friend (or, worse, leaving her a seven-minute voice memo) won’t calm you down. And it might actually make things worse, increasing feelings of anger. The experts concluded this after analyzing 154 anger studies that included 10,000 people. Study co-author Brad J. Bushman, PhD, told SELF: “When people are angry, their arousal level increases. Venting just makes it go higher.” What it means: Venting feels natural and often cathartic. And it beats its cousin, rumination — no matter how many songs Lily Allen writes about it. Yes, talking about your feelings can be healthy, but timing matters. Bushman recommends calming down first — meditate, stretch, or watch your favorite TV show. Whatever lowers your heart rate (so, maybe skip The Bear). Then, you can talk about what’s bothering you with your trusted loved ones or therapist. You’ll not only feel better, but it might also allow space for more critical thinking, reflection, and problem-solving. Will we still call our moms after our next work logjam? Probably. But maybe we'll queue up Gilmore Girls first. Related: When Is It Time To Step Back From That Difficult Relationship? (NPR Life Kit) |