| Dear Carolyn: Should a partner’s employer-provided equity shares be considered when dividing expenses? I need advice regarding the most equitable way to divide expenses when my partner makes anywhere from three to 10(!) times more than I do annually, depending on how you calculate it. I’m a public servant who makes low six figures (under $150,000). Aside from my salary and employer-matching retirement contributions, I have no additional income. My partner works for one of the big tech firms. His base annual salary is 2½ to three times mine. In addition, he receives equity shares in the company that vest after a certain amount of time. Some years, he also receives a bonus. One year, his bonus equaled my salary that year. We’ve been together almost 10 years and have been splitting the expenses proportionally based on our base annual salaries alone. I learned last year that my partner’s adjusted gross income (AGI) last year was 10 times my base salary. Ten. Times. I was stunned when I heard this and, quite frankly, angry and upset. I’ve been fighting this constant feeling of resentment every time I transfer my monthly portion of the expenses to our shared account. He’s younger than I am and has a net worth of almost $3 million, when I just cracked $600k. He wants to follow a “FIRE” plan (financial independence, retire early), and I support that, but I can’t help but feel he’s been able to reach that financial milestone because, proportionally, I’ve been paying way more of my income than he has. When I did the math, I was paying something like 25 to 30 percent of my AGI on expenses and he was paying only 8 to 9 percent. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said I’m already paying less than I would if I were on my own. He may be right, but I’m NOT alone, and I don’t think that’s the point. We’re supposed to be a team. He also said I benefit in other ways because he’s able to pay for vacations and upgrades on flights. But I’m not willing to sacrifice my long-term financial health for some fancy trips, and I told him that. Finally, he pointed out the equity shares are not a given because they fluctuate based on the value of the company, which is also true. He’s not an unreasonable person, but I am unable to articulate why I think this is unfair. Is it unreasonable of me to want him to pay more so I, in turn, can save more toward MY retirement — so we won’t be years apart in our ability to retire? — Financially Frustrated | 
