| Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I just bought a ring and are getting engaged soon. I’m very excited about this milestone and my inner planner-brain is eager to nail down wedding plans. To be clear, I have no interest in a wedding, for family, financial and introvert reasons — city hall and dinner with friends would be great for me. My boyfriend is waffling about whether the wedding he wants is worth the money. Totally fair. My take is that if half the couple wants a wedding, then the other half does whatever they can to make it happen, within reason. This is where I’m stuck. Instead of researching ideas and rough-drafting budgets himself, he’s asking me to do so, even though I’m the one who doesn’t want a wedding and can’t read his mind on what he wants. I have tried to put this project back on him but haven’t seen progress. Here’s the extra layer of worry: The dynamic of our relationship has often been me wanting to move forward and him happy as-is, so I worry that if I back off and don’t shepherd progress, then it will be years before we actually get married. How can I draw a fair boundary: helping him a bit with wedding research because I love him and want him to have the world, but not volunteering to be full-on wedding planner for an event I don’t want? — Craving Clear Plans | 
