LAST WEEK'S BREAKTHROUGHS
In last week’s newsletter, I reminded you that you've survived everything you thought you couldn't handle, and asked you to begin facing the next thing.
Sharon bought the kayak her husband said she couldn't handle:
“I've had many health problems this year, including rehab from a back procedure, rehab after a shoulder replacement and then a broken ankle.
I've wanted a kayak for years, and my husband was not on board with me purchasing one because he didn't think I could handle hauling it in my car and getting it in and out of the water without his assistance. His lack of confidence in me made me want it even more to show him I could handle it just fine.
So, I found the one I wanted, and one that would fit in my small SUV, and I went and bought it and when I got home he was a bit stunned that I did something that he didn't want me to do.
I just decided I was tired of him telling me what I was and wasn't able to do. We've been married for 42 years and together for 46. I'm six years younger than he is and we are not aging in sync and I decided that if he didn't want to do active things with me, I'd go by myself.
So, I spent the past week, on my own, in Steamboat Springs, CO, and went kayaking four times with my grandson and his girlfriend, hiking in the hills, a bit of geo-caching around town and many other adventures with them. I wouldn't let my grandson help me with my kayak because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it alone and I did!
I came home after a week in the mountains and felt so accomplished that I am ready to start travelling solo if he's not interested in going. I already booked a train/motor coach tour of Washington, Oregon and California for 10 days next month and I'm so excited for a new adventure!”
Becky faced the thing she'd feared her whole life—and survived it:
“I have genetically thin retinas, and I finally suffered the thing I most feared—a detached retina (aged 47) three weeks ago. The recovery is challenging as you have to lie down 24/7 for one to two weeks after the op, only getting up for food and toilet.
I live on my own and have ADD so the idea of forced sedentariness with no one around to help me or drive me around was too much to bear when I first found out that this could happen to me.
But it happened. And I am doing it. And I am doing ok. And no one died (myself included).
I'm through the hard part and now I can sit up (at last!) and I can read (and send you this!).
The best lesson by far to come out of it is that whilst being independent is great, it is ok to accept help. We do not have to suffer things on our own, even when we spend most of our time on our own. And accepting help is also a gift to those who offer it.”
Another reader quit a job after one week, and found their voice doing it:
“Today, I resigned from a job after one week of commencing following a four-month job search. My boss was unpredictable and volatile, which triggered the hell out of me. I felt too scared to resign. In praying for a sign of what to do, a thought popped in my head: 'Who are you pleasing by staying?'
I drew breath and called my boss. I was polite, and I told him that working in an emotionally unregulated environment wasn't healthy for me as I was raised in a volatile household.
He semi-apologised in his words for being 'too much'. I later learned from my recruiter I was the third person to leave the role in quick succession. As a serial people pleaser, I feel proud I found my voice. It's not often I feel fierce, but tonight I do—for choosing not to settle, excuse, or accept bad behaviour.”
As always, send your breakthroughs by simply replying to this email. Let me know if you’d prefer to remain anonymous.
Until next week,
Mark Manson
#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
My Website – My Books – My YouTube Channel – My Podcast – My App
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