| Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend is an exceptionally good person. He’s 49, I’m 43. He volunteers with disabled veterans to do adventure sports, he comes running any time a friend is in need, he’s reliable for all manner of household help for anyone who asks. Currently, in addition to volunteering and training for triathlons, he’s caring for his elderly parents and two adult children who live with him and have a slight case of failure to thrive. We’ve been together over a year and a half. He’s considerate and thoughtful, and I genuinely feel safe with him. However, because of his many other responsibilities, we rarely see each other. He spends the night once a week, generally. I can’t go to his house because of his children, and I haven’t been invited to his parents’ house or to any of his activities. I don’t want to marry or move in with him, but the bare minimum I expect from a relationship is time. I don’t feel like I can raise this issue with him because I am — and should be — secondary to caring for his parents and kids, and I know how important volunteering and other hobbies are to him. Am I justified in ending an otherwise great relationship with a very good man over this? I feel very selfish for even considering it. — Girlfriend | 
